First off, I just want to relate my thoughts and experiences on meditation. I am not a spiritual guru, nor some kind of mindfulness expert. I only have my own experience and my rather modest reading on meditation to talk about, but I think it can be helpful for those who have tried it and “failed” or who don’t really have any inkling on what meditation is about. For me, meditation is about being still. This stillness is not an outward stillness, though to mediate, it can help to be outwardly still, though it is not necessary. Meditation is about inner stillness. I don’t say it is to achieve inner stillness, since meditation is not a competition; in fact, it is about putting aside such ideas of achievements and wants, so as to be calm and just quiet and still for that short period that you meditate.
Why should we meditate? Our lives are filled with noise, disturbances and busyness. We almost need to just be quiet and still, so that we can rest. However, meditation is not the same as sleep. Sleep is necessary, but it can itself be filled with dreams which can be unrestful or at least not calm. Meditation is to be empty. It is to just have a blank space, a blank state of mind, so our bodies and more importantly, our minds can be relaxed and not be active. This can help us in our daily lives, a similar way a break can help us recharge and sleep can help us regenerate, but let us not approach meditation with an aim to just refresh so that we can once again charge into our busy lives with renewed energy. Think of it simply as a way to relax our minds, for its own sake. If we consider it as something to do with a goal, then that itself can disturb our meditation since we might feel frustration or a shortness of time to do it amid our busy lives.
It does help to be outwardly still. Try to be comfortable. If you have the luxury of your own space, try to get the room temperature to be a comfortable one, such that you are not hot but also not cold. If not, then try to make do with what you have.
I find sitting on the floor good for the purpose of meditation, since sitting on a bed or sofa can end up with your body sinking in, then your body can be in a tense uncomfortable position. I sit on a yoga mat placed on the floor, but a flat cushion or a towel can be good too if the floor itself is too cold. Take off your watches, jewellery or even your clothes, if these cause you distraction. It can feel freeing to just be in your own skin. If being naked then cause you distraction, then perhaps find the level or kind of clothes that is comfortable and not distracting for you.
Lower the lights. You don’t need total darkness since you can simply close your eyes, but dimness can help relaxation and calmness.
I sit cross-legged on my yoga mat, which provides a comfortable cushioning and keeps my bum from feeling the cold of the floor. I find a position to place my hands so that they are not grasping even each other, and sometimes, if I find my hand position not relaxed, I just change it midway, though I move slowly to not disrupt my calm. I sit with my back straight, but not ramrod straight, but just straight yet relaxed. Perhaps someone observing me might find that I am not really sitting straight, but so long as the position is not held in a tense way, that is ok. You don’t want to have a bad posture either, since that can cause strain too. So just a balanced sitting position.
If you have a nice calm view that is barely changing, you may wish to just view that and allow yourself to go blank, for your eyes to not focus but just glaze over. If you don’t, then closing your eyes can be good. I close my eyes.
Some find it helpful to have sounds of water flowing or other calming sounds, or even light music, though I prefer silence, or at least the silence that my apartment can afford me. It is not totally silent. If my windows are open, I can hear the sound from outside, sometimes they are voices or mowing or machines such as vacuum cleaners, so I close my windows. Even then it is not completely silent. I live in a warm country, so I put on the air conditioning or the fan, but that also is not totally silent. And that is ok, it is hard to have total silence, though sometimes, I visualise myself in the same pose, in a room facing snow-capped mountains. Since I don’t have that, and besides, I might feel cold then, I content myself just with my eyes closed where I can then visualise whatever view that helps my relaxation. This visual though is only to get me into the mood.
After a while, you want to minimise any images or thoughts. Thoughts however naturally will come to you. You might find yourself thinking of your work, or even that voice of your neighbour that comes through the walls, or the sound from your fan. It is ok. Just don’t fixate on them. Just note that you are having these thoughts; don’t even fight them, but just let them go. That is why some practitioners talk about focusing on your breathing, but I think that that is just something to help you get into the state of mind to meditate. After a while, let even this focus on breathing go. Don’t fixate, don’t focus. These thoughts will go away on their own. Don’t worry about having these thoughts. Just note they are there, and then just let them go. It might take some practice; we are not used to being still. We endlessly distract ourselves, and the time you give to meditation is a time to really be in calm, not to have even those little distractions that can prevent us from feeling restful.
Be sure to put your phone to silent mode. Do not be anxious that you might in the meantime get some urgent calls. If needed, set it such that emergency calls can still get through if it helps you not worry. Different phones have different ways of doing this, so I will not suggest how. The endless messages and notifications we get are an endless source of disturbance. We need to reduce these in our lives, so if you cannot, at least let your brief meditation time be such a time to not have these disturbances.
If sudden noises or other disturbances happen while you are meditating, it is ok. Let it go, let it not disturb you. It can be inevitable if you live in a city or in an apartment block. What you can do is to not let them bother you.
You might find yourself getting sleepy, and that is ok, you are entering a state of deep relaxation, which you might find rather unusual given our usual state of tension. Perhaps that indicates just how tired you are. Some might find meditation “boring.” That might indicate just how much excitement and tension your usual life is, such that even a pause seems in need of being filled with activity. Think of it just as a time to be calm and to do nothing, rather than be endlessly preoccupied in all your waking moments.
I find it helps to relax my muscles. In my sitting position, I am mostly relaxed, but I realise that my face is not relaxed. My facial muscles seem to be in some tension, and when I realise this, I relax my facial muscles also, which helps me become more relaxed. I relax my eye muscles, I relax my jaw, to the point that my mouth hangs open in a relaxed way. I breathe, not so deeply that it involves some tension in my throat and lungs, but in a smooth long breath.
Sometimes, I don’t even realise how long I have been meditating for. I do not track the time; I don’t try to take note of it since that can be itself not calming. It might last 5 minutes, 15 minutes, sometimes an hour even, I can’t be exact since I am not really noting the time.
When you feel ready to finish your meditation session, open your eyes slowly, and slowly come out of your sitting position. Move slowly, so you don’t disrupt the calmness you have had. Try to slow down your movements when you are in meditation so it would not be disruptive to your frame of mind.
I hope my relating of my modest experience of meditation has helped you. Please feel free to like, share, subscribe, and comment, I would love to hear about your meditation experiences and your thoughts. I still have a lot to discover about meditation, it is a journey, not a destination. Thank you.
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